BSE/Mars Contract Completed, 1,000,000 twix bars adjusted for Charity!
After what seems like years of toil in the BSE Sweetshops, BSE has finally finished its Chomp for Charity Work, as commissioned by Mars Inc.
The MARS Inc. contract undertaken by Banjo Stanley was shrouded in secrecy right up until now.
And Now, I have been officially authorised to reveal the Nature of this astonishing Charitable Contract that the undercover agents at MARSInc. international Choccy Ahoccy Agreed with BSE International Inc.
Here below is the MARS Inc. contract as was agreed and is now signed off as completed;
1, To open one million supplied Twicxes bars and cut off exactly 14grams from the middle of each bar.
2, To remove the 14gram portions and put them in large suitcases, ready to ship abroad.
3, To rejoin the remaining 'halves' using an egg wash glue and reseal the packaging.
4,To amend the weight description on the packaging from 50grams to a so called 36gram 'mini bar'.
5, To close and seal the very heavy suitcases containing 1000,000 14g portions of Twick.
6.To buy as many First Class Flights with BA as required and fly under heavy guard to Rio de Janero, Brasil.
7, To open the sealed very heavy and well guarded suitcases and redistribute the 14gram Twickettes to the Rio Rain Forest Mars Inc. Factory workers on a pro rata basis via the Mars Inc. Charitable Trust. (These Twickette bonuses are inclusive of all Mars Inc. Sweetshop wages and allowances)
8. To photograph and document the entire Charitable Action in order to create a Mars Inc. Publicity Campaign worthy of their Brasilian Olympic Sponsorship bid.
BSE agreed to this contract on an expenses only charity basis, which means Banjo gets to hang out in Brasil for the whole Summer watching other people running, jumping, dancing and wearing hats out at no cost to himself, while also feeling GOOD about having fed the poor.
This is all i can report for now, but watch this space, as we expect to hear a whats going on in Brasil spot update from Banjoo Stanlee himself very soon.